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Internet Iron Chef.

Sep 24th, 2009 by web

So, here’s what’s in my refrigerator right now.

Ground turkey. Blueberries. A handful of jalapenos. Two beers (assortment). A few eggs. kaga_takeshi_websiteofday Chedda chedda cheese. A red onion and some salsa.

I don’t really know what do with that. You see, cooking isn’t my forte. However, lucky for me the WWW does. So I go to this site and tell it what I got and it tells me what I have. So, based on what I got, the world-wide-web Iron Chef says tonight I get to eat any of the following…

1. Blueberry burger.

2. Jalapeno Pie.

3. Jalapeno cocktail squares. (Your guess is as good as mine.)

4. Onion skin easter eggs.

5. Low carb breakfast balls. (WTF.)

I think I’ll call for pizza. Too bad the internet can’t make that happen… Oh, wait.

The site: www.supercook.com.

What it is: You tell the website what you got in your fridge/pantry/car trunk/knapsack and then your own little electronic sous chef goes and scours the world wide web to find recipes that can be had with whatcya you’re working with. No more running to the grocery store to buy those missing ingredients; oh, praise you, mighty internet for making our little lives so much easier. Now we can grow fat in peace.

Allllllez cuisine!!!!

Posted in Food / Wine / Dining | No Comments »

Deep Dialing Phones

Sep 23rd, 2009 by web

It’s a type of phone service.

Not the kind you think.

Perv.

I used to try to do it manually. Repeatedly hitting every button on my phone’s keypad in a desperate attempt to confuse that little automated voice so that it’d give up on me and put me through to someone who speaks English (as opposed to Robot). Selecting whatever number corresponds to “cancel my service” in the misguided belief that the evil corporation would be so scared of losing me as a valuable customer, a single customer, that it’d just pick up. And maybe even send me flowers and give me discounts and shower me with stuff.

Speaking Spanish. Or swearing. Someone once told me that swearing worked–because the computer program was set up to tell when the customer was maa-aad and so if you swore at the voice, you’d be patched through immediately. So I sat in my office and swore and swore.

But, here’s a new way. One that’s much calmer and more efficient. One where you’re very own WWW does all the dirty work for you. You just go online and tell the website whatever information you want and once everything’s cued up and the appropriate person is on the line and ready to go with all the necessary information, your very own WWW gives you a ring on your mobile. See. Piece of cake.

Oh. And this way won’t get you fired. For screaming. Expletives. Into the phone. When there’s not even a real person on the other line.

The site: fonolo.com.

What it is: You tell the website what corporation you’d like to call (I still hate you, Timewarner) and then you just select whatever necessary options there are from a visual phone tree that corresponds to that company’s automated answering service and that’s it. Your own personalized web-operator takes it from there, calling you once it has a human on the line. Oh, and in case you’re worried about them mis-handling you or whatever, Fonolo even gives you the option to record your conversation, just in case your chat with customer support becomes an argument. Or anything else.

After all, the service is called deep dialing.

No, it’s not what you think.

Posted in Technology, Time Saver | No Comments »

The Keyser Soze of Email Accounts.

Sep 22nd, 2009 by web

keysersoze What is this? An email from Keyser So– *poof.*

Think of the possibilities. You know how all of those sites make you enter an email account to register. And then you have to go and get the email they send you and click on the link to register. And then you’re stuck receiving spam from them for the rest of your miserable life. Something about growing hair in places and other things in other places. (Yes, it offends me too.)

Mailing list this; mailing list that.

Well, now you can outsmart those bad boys. Just like you were Keyser Soze–except without all the street cred. Your email account disappears just like that. Poof. So go ahead, sign up all you want. For whatever you want. The possibilities are limitless.

Well, I’m actually not sure why you couldn’t just create a fake email account. But maybe if you’re like me you already have too many of those to keep straight. Or maybe you’ll post some new and insightful ways of using a fake email account. Because, after all, it is your web, too. Assuming you exist.

The site: www.guerillamail.com.

What it does: The website provides you with disposable e-mail address which expire after 60 minutes. You can read and reply to emails that are sent to the temporary email address within the given time frame.

Posted in Gimmick, Technology | No Comments »

It’s Ok, People Are Smarter Than You

Sep 21st, 2009 by web

Fine. The movie’s good. You’ve got Matt Damon berating that guy with the pony tail who looks a little bit like the dude from Die Hard about how he wasted his money on that Hahvahad degree because he, our hero, knows everything that that Hahvahd dude knows about something having to do with the evolution of the market economy in early colonial America and all he, our hero, had to do was get a library card and read books (of course, implied: it doesn’t hurt that he’s super freak genius).

And so our hero—who, apparently, has a fascination with apples as well as an inability to pronounce simple words like “them”—concludes with much gusto to the dude with a pony tail: “You dropped a hundred and fifty grand on an education you coulda’ picked up for a dollar fifty in late chargers at the Public Library.” (Mixed in with some expletives.) And that, my friends, gets our hero the girl, the one lurking in the corner, the one with British accident who calls herself Skylar and is studying to be a doctor and looks like a cocker-spaniel, in that Minnie Driver type of way.

Well, now, because of this whole internet thing, it looks like the joke’s on good ole Will. Because… drumroll please… who needs a $1.50 these days for that education; now all you need is your educative world wide web and the good folks of AcademicEarth.org. Guess he really overpaid.

The Site: www.academicearth.org.

What it is: A website that aggregates (aka posts, aka makes available, aka just go on the site and watch them) thousands of video lectures from the world’s leading universities. So go ahead, and sit in on Yale’s Donald Kagan’s (I once took a class from him; he’s good) lecture on the Struggle for Hegemony in 4^th Century Greece; or, as you relax with that pipe in the comfort of your home, check out John Roger delve into Milton’s nonsensical poetry; or perhaps MIT’s Walter Lewin pontificate on Equipotential Surfaces, Conductors and Electrostatic Shielding is more your cup of tea. Whatever. I wasted my money.

But maybe it’s your turn to go see about a girl.

And scene.

Posted in Education, Entertainment | No Comments »

A Music Site that PMSs.

Sep 18th, 2009 by web

No, no, it’s a good thing.

I know, I know. Moods. Obviously a sign of weakness. Of being bipolar. Or worse, of feminine things. Whatever. I say, that be darned; caution in the wind. It’s time to celebrate moods, to celebrate them with music.

And so comes a site.

Here’s the deal. You tell our good friend, the world wide web, what kind of mood you’re in and it takes it from there. Off he goes; a little make-belief internet DJ scours the web in conjunction with, of course, the depths of your soul, just so he can put together a mood-specific play list tailored specifically for you. Easy peasy. No more going through your playlists and deleting all those Britney Spears songs when you’re trying to calm down; no more searching for dark, depressing songs, which, if you’re like me, make you feel good inside. Warm.

So, whatever time of the month it is for you, you can just relax and celebrate your moodiness.

The site: www.musicovery.com

What it is: Musicovery is a music-streaming site that’s not that far off from Pandora or Last.fm–but with a uber cool user interface. Instead of coming up with a play list, you simply just click on a mood-ring that triggers your own internet DJ to start playing music just for you. You’re free to change your mood from dark to light, energetic to calm and you can filter out genres or time periods that are, um, not in line with your mood.

Yes, it’s all very emo.

Posted in Entertainment, Music | No Comments »

Self-Destructing Emails

Sep 15th, 2009 by web

Who hasn’t been there?

You’re writing an email talking all sorts of yin-yang about your sister’s boyfriend. Or your boss. Or that girl who gained a little bit of weight (she’s still really nice, of course). Or maybe you’re sending one of those emails about some number of girls and a cup with inappropriate pictures and language (what blogs these days are calling NSFW

You’re ready to click on that little innocuous send button. But maybe you pause for just a second because some part of you knows somewhere in the back of your mind that this isn’t a great idea; that this email’s just too good to sit still, too incriminating not to be forwarded. You really shouldn’t be sending this; you know that.

You send it anyway. Trusting the internet. Oh, trusting the internet. We know how that turns out. Silly you.

Well, now fret not, senders. The internet can be trusted again. Sort of. Well at least you can get away with sending that dirty email with immunity. Here’s a site that lets the responsible be a little more irresponsible. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Whatever.

Plus, blowing up things is cool.

The site: www.DestructingMessage.com.

What it is: This site provides a way to send self-destructing e-mail messages. At the Web site DestructingMessage.com, you can send a Web-initiated email. Specify how much time you want to give the recipient before the message self-destructs (Inspector Gadget style). You have the option to send the message anonymously from the Web site or as a link from your email account.

Oh, and… this posting will self-destructi in… 10… 9… 8…

Posted in Technology | No Comments »

If a snob and a cheapskate had a child.

Sep 11th, 2009 by web

redwine Normally, people who drink wine are rich. And they can afford things. Like wine. And also like pay sites that tell them what wines are good (e.g., winespectator.com), just in case their rich tastebuds can’t speak for themselves.

But here’s a site for the commonfolk. The folk who like their wine from a glass, a bottle, or a box all the same. The folk who, when they buy wine, can’t buy pay sites.

So you see, it kind of makes sense–if a snob had a child with a cheapskate…

You’re right. Would never happen.

The site: www.cellartracker.com.

What it is: In a way, it’s like facebook for wine. You can search the site for wines without doing much of anything–it has over one million consumer tasting notes–see what your friends are drinking, and if you sign up (free, of course), you can write tasting notes, read/share ratings and even keep an online journal for yourself. Be warned, there are some pay features on the site but these premiums are by no means necessary.

So, go–sophisticate yourself.

Posted in Food / Wine / Dining | No Comments »

Please Leave Your Message at the Sound of the…

Sep 10th, 2009 by web

The sitch.

It’s time to make that call you don’t want to make. It’s been a couple days since you met her and all you can think about is asking her out on a date because, unbeknownst to her, she’s the grandmother of that grandchild you’ve always wanted, but you know if she picks up the phone you’ll stutter like and idiot and say something unplanned and that’ll just seal your fate of bachelorhood. Problem is you have no choice.

“Please don’t pick up the phone; please don’t pick up the phone.”

Ring.

Or it’s that guy who you promised you’d go out and get a drink with because he’s single annoying and always asks to go get a beer because he wants a wingman, but you just want to stay home and hang with that woman who you went on a date with once and has since become your one and only. You told this guy you’d give him a call.

“Please don’t pick up the phone; please don’t pick up the phone.”

If only…

The site: www.slydial.com.

What it is: Use SlyDial to go straight to voicemail. Before dialing the number you want to call, just dial 267-SLYDIAL and enter the number you want to leave a voicemail for. You can use this service as much as you want to from your cell phone or a landline at no charge . There is a short advertisement when you use the free version. If you don’t feel like hearing the advert, you can pay for the premium version.

You’re on your own for actually composing the message.

Posted in Technology | No Comments »

It’s a shoppers world.

Sep 9th, 2009 by web

time_money So here it is.

A website designed for those who love to find the amazing online bargains that we all know are out there without wasting all that unnecessary browsing time to find it. In other words, a site that values your time as much as you value your money.

If you think about it, it is the us of the shopping world. At least it is to shopping as we hope to be to this internet thing.

Well, we can all dream.

The site: www.woot.com.

What it is: It offers one item a day every day until it is sold out or until midnight comes and everything turns to pumpkins (i.e., the next item is posted). And the deals are steals. Without the illegality of actually stealing. Just try it for a couple of days.

Posted in Money Saver, Retail | No Comments »

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